destined for death
by elle.lady
Summary: edward and bella are about to get married when a new threat takes its hold on bella's life. but this threat isnt something he could fight and it kills her slowly everyday. all he can do is watch her struggle but sometimes, people are just destined to die
1. Chapter 1

**Hi. This will be my first long story… but it will only be around 5 chapters… hey! That's long for me.**

**This is set before breaking dawn. Slight OOC.**

**Your reviews will be very much appreciated. Enjoy!**

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_**Destined for Death**_

Prologue

Bella POV

Blood. It seems to be the highlight of my life. Well, the better part of my life any way. If ever there is such a thing as an hourglass that represents our life, mine would probably be filled with blood instead of sand. Every second passing is equivalent to a drop of blood. Tick tock tick tock. Drip, drip, drip, drip. That is probably how my life is measured.

Life. Another funny thing. Who knew I would feel more alive when I'm hovering close to death. Would you ever believe that I felt more alive than ever when I actually became acquainted with the dead? I truly lived when I fell in love with the dead.

Death. I'm getting close to it. No matter the outcome, I would be dead. Its just a matter of being six feet under or walking in the dark. Either way, I am dead. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Isn't that the ultimate human destination? We were all born to die. Great. Now I sound morbid. But morbid or not, dead or alive or whatever it is in between, I know I will be alright as long as he is by my side.

He is my life, my love, the reason why I'm not afraid, why I will never be afraid of whatever the future holds for me.

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**_*six months earlier*_**

Bella POV

"Alice, don't you think this is too much?" I asked. "It's not like you guys will eat anything."

"Don't be silly, Bella. There's no such thing as being too much. This will be a festivity anyway." Alice shrugged then asked, "What do you think tastes better? Italian or French? Hmm… Italian it is." She said after her eyes glazed, probably seeing a vision of people preferring Italian over French buffet.

"But there's too much food. It will only go to waste. Besides, I don't think people even know these." I said pointing at the impossibly long list of menu in front of me. We were sitting at the couch with Esme, taking notes and designing how the house would look like on that day on her sketchpad. Alice called me a while earlier saying that there's an emergency so I came here to help preparing for my wedding. Gah. My wedding.

Alice and Esme were kind enough to take most of the wedding planning of my hands. Or maybe Alice just didn't want me to keep things simple. Whatever the reason is, I was grateful I didn't have to call the caterer or the decorators or do anything wedding-related. All I had to do is keep a straight face and pretend it isn't my wedding that I'm helping plan at this moment.

"How are the preparations?" Carlisle asked as he walked towards the couch, eyeing the stacks of paper and lists on his coffee table. He was still wearing his coat and bag at hand.

He's a doctor at the local hospital working usually during the graveyard shift since he doesn't really need to sleep. One of the benefits of being a vampire, he says. He likes to stay there as long as he can so he can help more people. He only comes home to see his family and spend time with them.

"We're doing great, dear. We just had to trouble Bella to ask her about the food. We don't exactly know which are the good ones." Esme giggled. She stood up and kissed Carlisle on his cheek. He gave her a loving look as he chastely kissed her lips.

"Mom, Dad, not here please. You're embarrassing Bella." Alice said, concentrating on finishing the menu. I blushed when Carlisle and Esme looked at me.

"Sorry, dear." She said shamefully.

"Oh, don't be. It's your house anyway so you can do whatever you like." I said.

"This is your house too, Bella. In just a few weeks you'll be living here with us." Carlisle said. I smiled at him.

"Thanks, Carlisle, Esme. For welcoming me to your family." I said then added, "and to you too, Alice." I reached for her head and messed up her spiky hair. I would never forget that night when they all said yes and welcomed me into their family. (A.N. New Moon, chapter 24 The Vote)

"Oh no, sweetheart. Thank you for accepting us, and for loving us all especially Edward." Esme said and as if on cue, Edward opened the door and quickly went to my side, kissing me on my cheek. He sat beside me and put his arm on my shoulder, pulling me closer to him.

"Welcome home."I smiled at him. He looked at me with those smoldering golden eyes, fresh from his hunt and dazzled me once again. I felt my heartbeat accelerate and despite the fact that I know there were many vampires who could hear it, I didn't care. In just a few days, this wonderful man, this Greek god, the personification of perfection will be mine.

"I could really get used to that, you welcoming me home." He smiled my favorite crooked smile. I felt my heart beat even faster and my blood rush up to my face. I know how red I must've been.

"Bella, something wrong with your heart? And your face? You're as red as a tomato." Emmett laughed. I didn't even notice him. He was by the couch, looking at the wedding menu with a disgusted expression.

"You want me to add anything on the menu for you? A couple of grizzlies perhaps, or maybe some mountain lions?" I asked him. He burst out laughing, earning a glare from Rosalie.

"Yeah, Bella. Let's add that. I wanna see the expression on the people's faces when they see a live grizzly bear on the table." He said then laughed again.

"Really funny guys, but seriously, what would you prefer? Rigatoni Marinara or Penne Aioli?" Alice asked in a serious, business-like voice. I couldn't help but chuckle at her question. Emmett looked at her, confused.

"What the hell are those?" he asked.

"Italian food." She simply answered, waving her hand off at Emmett.

"Are we supposed to eat it? Eeww…" Emmett said and made a disgusted sound.

"Alice, I don't know what those are. Can't we really just go for the live grizzlies with mountain lions on the side?" I asked and Emmett laughed again. This time, Esme, Carlisle and Edward joined in.

"Bella. Be serious! This is the only thing I need your help with. Do you really want your first ever human wedding be a total catastrophe?" Alice snarled.

"I'm serious, Alice. I don't know what those are." I sighed.

"But you're human." She whined

"Not because I'm human means I know every recipe there is. Nor every type of food ever cooked." I retorted.

"Just put fettuccini and pesto. Mushroom ravioli too. That's enough, I think." Edward said. Alice sighed and scribbled those on her piece of paper, completing the menu for my wedding.

"Shut up, Emmett." Edward suddenly said, glaring at Emmett.

"I didn't say anything, bro." Emmett said, grinning, "You're the one invading my mind."

"What did we miss?" Carlisle asked Edward.

"He thinks it's funny that I was the one who suggested the human food while Bella suggested the bear and the mountain lion for the menu." Edward sighed. Emmett laughed again, this time with jasper.

"You too, Jazz. Shut up." he glared at Jasper. Jasper just raised his hand innocently but he was still chuckling.

"And Jasper was thinking…?" Esme asked.

"That Bella thinks more like a vampire than I do." Edward sighed again. I winked at Emmett and Jasper and they laughed. After a few more discussions about the main course, the dessert and the cake, I started to feel tired. I leaned on Edward's chest and tried to stifle a yawn. I haven't been doing anything lately but I seem to easily get tired.

"Let's go Bella. It's getting late." Edward murmured in my ear sensing that I was feeling bushed.

"Oh, yes. Thank you for coming, dear. And I'm sorry for the trouble." Esme said, kissing me on the fore head as we walked towards the door.

"Oh no. it wasn't trouble at all. It's the least I can do since you guys are the ones organizing the wedding." I still can't say _my wedding_ out loud without shuddering at the idea.

"Yeah. Bella didn't exactly help much." Alice muttered. She's been in a foul mood all afternoon. At first, I thought it was because Jasper wasn't there but even when he arrived from the hunt with Edward and Emmett, her mood still didn't improve.

"Now, now Alice. That's not nice." Carlisle chided. He then hugged me goodbye.

"Well, it is true. Thanks for even bothering, Alice." I said while hugging her petite frame. I waved goodbye to Emmett and Jasper.

I got in the passenger side of my truck while Edward went to the driver's seat. Ever since we were officially engaged, he refuses to let me drive when he's around anymore. He's driving still scares me especially when he's driving my old truck. He turned on the engine and my truck roared loudly.

"Can you do me favor? Just tonight?" I asked before he could start the truck.

"That depends, my love." He smirked, lifting the breaks.

"Can I drive? Just this time?" I pleaded.

"Not a chance. It's already dark and besides, I promised you that I'll drive you wherever you want." He said, hitting the gas and shifting to reverse.

"I thought I was getting you as my husband, not as a driver." I muttered. He chuckled and held my hand.

"Alright. I will let you drive tonight if…" he trailed off.

"If?"

"If you let me buy you a new car." He grinned. Of course that will be his condition.

"never mind." I rolled my eyes. No way am I getting an expensive sports car. Knowing him, he would probably give something an outrageously expensive car with rocket boosters that can take me to the moon.

"Come on, Bella. I'll let you drive your new car, I promise." He held my chin, making me look at him. He knew he was going to win the argument. He found out recently that I can't say no to him when he looks at me intensely with those liquid topaz eyes of his.

"Alright. But you can only buy me a new car if this truck dies." I sighed, giving up.

"It will only be a matter of time before that happens." He smirked triumphantly.

"So why is Alice in such a bad mood?" I asked him.

"Oh. Because she can't remember being human." He said. I raised my eyebrows at him so he elaborated, "she doesn't like the fact that she doesn't know what food to serve. And she also didn't like the fact that she had to ask your help. She wanted to make the both of us as clueless about the wedding as possible."

"Oh. She does know that we're the ones getting married, right?"

"Yeah. She does. I made sure everybody knows that in a few days, you will officially be mine."

"I have always been yours, Edward."

"And I will forever be yours, my Bella." He said then leaned down to kiss me.

When we got home, I started preparing dinner for Charlie while he watched me. I was chopping some carrots when I felt an excruciating pain from my pelvis. Edward was beside me in an instant.

"What's wrong? Where does it hurt? Bella?" he asked worriedly. He pulled me to sit on the chair beside the table. He kneeled in front of me, stroked my hair and looked at my hand, pressing on my abdomen. After a few minutes of feeling the pain, it disappeared suddenly.

"Bella, are you sure you're fine? I can take you to Carlisle." Edward said, worried again. His brow furrowed and his eyes were full of concern. How can anyone not love this man?

"I'm fine. Just cramps, I guess. Don't worry. It's gone now." I said reassuring him. I kissed his forehead and smiled at him. I slowly stood up and continued chopping the carrots and cooking Charlie's dinner.

The rest of the night was uneventful. Edward left before Charlie came. We ate dinner silently, as usual. After cleaning the dishes, I went with my dad to watch TV. I've been trying to spend as much time as I can with Charlie before my change, trying to leave as much happy memories with him as I can.

At around nine-thirty though, I felt as if I would faint because I was so tired. I excused myself and told Charlie good night. When I got to my room, I took my bag of toiletries right away and took a shower. I was surprisingly feeling sore all over and tired despite the fact that I didn't even do anything exhausting today.

When I got back to my room, Edward was there of course, lying on my bed with that crooked smile on his face. I immediately lied down beside him and in just a few minutes, I was asleep.

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**thanks for reading. please review! **

**i'll update within this week. promise.**

**i'll try to finish the other one too...**

**i have a feeling i'll lose my bet. oh well.**

**peace!**

**(/^,)  
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	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to all those who reviewed and added the story on their alerts! You really made me happy guys. because of this, I decided to update the story right away! Yay!**

**Before I forget this again, I just wanna remind everyone that all the characters here are from Stephenie Meyer. How I wish I was the one who came up with these people.**

**enjoy!**

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Bella POV

I woke up later than usual the next morning. My body feels stiff and sore when I stretched. I looked for Edward but he wasn't in the room with me.

"Edward?" I called out.

"Coming." he said. He opened my bedroom door and came in my room holding a tray with eggs, bacon, toast and a glass of juice. There was also a forget-me-not flower on the side. "Breakfast in bed for my lady." He smirked.

"Thanks. But you shouldn't have bothered. Where's Charlie?" I asked. I sat up and rested my back on the headboard.

"he's already gone." He replied. He placed the tray in front of me and I began nibbling on the toast. I was about to eat my bacon when I noticed that he was staring at me making me self-conscious.

"is something wrong?" I asked him after I cleared my throat.

"That's what I want to ask you, Bella. Is something bothering you?" he said. His voice was full of concern. He placed his hand on my cheek and I leaned my face to his hand, loving the feeling of his cold skin next to mine. He smiled and slowly pulled my face close to his. Our lips met and I immediately felt my heart trying to jump out of my chest. The feeling of his marble lips on my heated ones made my stomach go all mushy. It's a good thing I'm sitting on my bed or I would have collapsed. I could never get used to kissing such a wonderful creature yet I never seemed to get enough.

I heard him growl deep in his chest and I know I only have at least five seconds before he pulls away so I made most of my time. I tried to part his lips with my tongue and when he didn't grant me entrance, I just settled for skimming my tongue on his smooth lower lip. He was about to pull away when I did something I usually never do. He pulled away quickly and looked at me.

"Did you just bite my lip?" he asked, surprised and breathless. His eyes were wide. He placed his index finger in his lip.

"I guess I did." I shrugged. "You don't like it? It's because you tried to pull away."

He licked his lip and that action made my stomach tingle. Oh, how I wish I could lick his lip too. He looked at me with an odd expression on his face.

"Actually, I did. I liked it more than I should. But I'd rather you not do it again."

"Why?"

"I might lose control. You… _excite_ me too much, Bella." He shook his head then stood up and made his way towards the door.

"Where are you going?" I asked him as he opened the door.

"Outside. I need to calm myself. Finish your breakfast." He said. He went outside and closed the door.

I finished my breakfast and went to the kitchen with my tray. He was sitting on the chair by the table. He looked up and smirked at me as I walked toward him. He opened his arms and I sat on his lap, my back was to him and I leaned on his chest. He placed his head on my shoulder.

"You never did answer my question." he murmured, his breath tickling me.

"What question?"

"If there's something wrong."

"Oh, that. You distracted me. Sorry."

"I think it was you who distracted me, not the other way around." He breathed against my neck. His arms held me tighter as he started kissing my neck.

"You're distracting me again." I said, breathless.

"You are distracting me. Do you have any idea how… tempting you are?" He said against the crook on my ear. I could feel his tongue slowly tracing the outline of my neck. My heart hammered on my chest and he chuckled at my reaction. I felt my whole body heat up and I know I must've been redder than an apple.

I tried to form a witty response but my brain refused to work. All I could think of is that he's kissing me. His hand on my waist slowly moved upward until it reached my breast. He hesitantly cupped my right breast and when he did I couldn't help but gasp. He froze and pulled away. He looked at me apologetically.

"I am so sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to be so… offensive. Forgive me." he said. His eyes were on the floor. I tilted his chin until he was looking at me and I smiled at him.

"I wasn't offended at all. Just surprised. I didn't mind it at all. I actually… uhm… liked it as well." I whispered the last part and my heart jumped out of my chest. Edward looked then shook his head. He stood up and leaned at the counter, trying to create a space between us.

"So, before we get distracted again, can you please answer my question?" he asked.

"Uhm… apart from my heart trying to jump out of my chest, and my stomach being filled with butterflies, I don't think there's anything wrong with me." I answered. "why do you ask?"

"You weren't talking last night. And you seem to be in pain." He answered his face full of concern. It was true that I didn't have the best night's sleep last night. I was feeling sore all over.

"I was just tired." I shrugged. I stood up and went to clean the dishes.

"Are you certain?" he asked again. He was always worrying.

"yes. I am. Now what do you want to do today?" I asked trying to distract him.

"I don't know. Maybe we could just hang around here, let you rest." He said.

"Alright." I said, turning my back on him as I washed the dishes. I was about to put them away when my leg started to hurt. The pain wasn't that much so I just ignored it. I went to the living room and sat on the couch, watching some sitcom.

Despite the fact that I barely moved all day, my body still felt sore but I refused to tell Edward. At around six in the evening, he excused himself and went home while I started to cook dinner for Charlie. I was in the middle of frying the fish when I noticed something on the stove. It was a red dot. I looked at it when another red dot dropped in front of me. Then I felt something wet above my lips, under my nose. I placed my finger on the wet spot and saw a red dot on it too. It took me a while to realize that it was blood. My nose was bleeding!

I quickly grabbed the kitchen towel and moved it on my nose, praying that neither Edward nor Charlie arrive at this moment. After a few minutes, the bleeding stopped. I quickly threw the kitchen towel in the washer and cleaned the drops of blood on the stove with bleach.

After cooking dinner, I immediately went to the bathroom to take a bath. I stared at my reflection for a moment. I looked the same only I looked tired. My eyes were dropping and my face was sort of paler than usual. My lips were also dry so I immediately licked it. I stepped in the shower and turned it on, relaxing myself.

I heard the cruiser pull up in the driveway when I stepped out of the bathroom and got dressed. I went downstairs and prepared the table for Charlie.

"hey, Kiddo." He said. He sat down and I started to put his food on the table. He was enjoying his meal while I played with my food. I wasn't hungry these days and despite the fact that I barely ate at lunch I still didn't have an appetite.

"You ok, Bells?" he asked, his brows furrowed in concern.

"yeah. Why?" I asked him. Do I really look that tired to them?

"You haven't been eating lately. You barely eat anything these past few days. I'm starting to worry, kid." He said. Edward also commented that I was eating very little lately. That's why he came up with the breakfast in bed earlier. So to ease of their worrying, I told him the same excuse I told Edward when I didn't eat lunch.

"I'm on a diet so I can fit on my wedding dress." I muttered.

"Oh. Don't overdo it though. I don't want you getting sick before your wedding." He shuddered at the idea. I laughed at him.

I was cleaning the dishes when I felt a sharp pain on my abdomen again. It knocked me breathless and I almost cried in pain. I sank to the floor, curled up and pressing my hand on my abdomen. I took deep breaths and after a few minutes, the pain started to subside. When it was already tolerable, I stood up and finished washing the dishes.

At around eight, I fell asleep on Charlie's couch. When I woke up at around twelve, edward was already carrying me to my room, his mouth was in a tight line. I placed my hand on his face and he slowly looked at me.

"Whats up?" I asked groggily, my voice thick with sleep.

"I'm worried about you." He said. I laughed and he looked at me questioningly.

"Aren't you always?"

"This is different, Bella. Something isn't right."

"I'm just tired. That's all. What with all those newborn and Victoria and the Volturi. And then there's Jacob" my voice faltered at that part so I cleared my throat, "My body must have been stressed for so long that's why I've been so exhausted."

"I don't know, Bella. I don't like this feeling." He said. I didn't know if he said something more because I fell asleep on his arms, before I even hit the pillows on my bed.

I woke up with Edward shaking me, his voice frantic and his face very worried.

"Edward? Are you OK?" I asked. I tried to sit up but I wasn't able to. My body felt like iron. It was so stiff and heavy.

"I should be asking you that. Do you know it's already ten? You've been sleeping for more than eleven hours and you weren't moving at all. I thought you were in a coma or something. You scared me, Bella." He said, holding me so close to him.

"Oh." Was the most brilliant response I could think of. I still wasn't able to move so asked him to embrace me. he encircled me in his arms and placed my on his chest. He started kissing my hair.

"I can really get used to this, waking up next to you every morning." I stated as a inhaled his sweet scent.

"I would love to be beside you on every waking hour. Just promise me you'd wake up, Bella. I don't know what I'd-"

"Edward, in a few more days I wouldn't be waking up because I won't be sleeping anymore. So don't worry about me not waking up." I said playfully. I felt my body relaxing a bit and I was able to move. I stood up and went to the bathroom to freshen up. I still looked like hell so I tried to cover it up with something I never really use- foundation. I brushed my hair and made sure I looked ok before I went back to my room. I hoped Edward wouldn't notice but who was I kidding?

"Why are you wearing make-up?" he asked warily.

"Uhm. Just thought I could at least try to make myself look pretty for you?" I smiled sheepishly at him. He growled.

"You are beautiful, my love. No need for make-up." he said, hugging me again. I hugged him back. We went downstairs and I decided to do the laundry. I was feeling a little weak so Edward, much to my dismay, helped me load the washer and the drier with my clothes. He seemed to enjoy helping me so I just let him.

He cooked lunch for me and I tried my best to eat although I didn't really feel like eating. After trying to clean to the house, I fell back on the couch, breathing heavily. Edward saw me and came to sit beside me in an instant.

"Bella-" he stated but I cut him off by putting my finger on his mouth. I've heard enough of his worrying.

"I'm fine. I just need to use the bathroom." I stood up and went to the toilet to pee. It was surprisingly very painful just to pee. I even gasped in pain. Edward was by my door in an instant, knocking.

"Bella. Can you please let me in?" he asked frantically.

"Do you want to see me in my undies? I don't think that's your style, Edward." I told him. I was still in my undies, trying to pull my sweat pants up.

"Be serious, please." He pleaded. I was about to flush the toilet when I saw something mixed with my urine. There was blood in it. I just finished my period two weeks ago so there was no way I'm having my monthly visitor. Then I remembered when I was younger, I had the same problem. I sighed and opened the door. Edward was there looking at me seriously.

"Don't worry. I think its just UTI. I had one when I was younger." I told him. I washed my hands and went to look for the medicine that I used to take. Renee made me pack one since I had it before.

"Are you sure. These are not the symptoms of urinary Tract Infection." He stated.

"I'm pretty much sure." I shrugged and drank the medicine. He was about to object so I added, "I'd get checked tomorrow. You can even come with me."

And with that he had grudgingly accepted my solution.

The rest of the day flew by quickly. This is the third day in a row that I wasn't able to go out, not that I love going out much. I just sat on the couch beside Edward, reading my book. I also got a call from Renee and Alice telling me about the wedding stuff. Edward decided to stay for dinner and even helped me cook. Charlie didn't bother much that Edward was there. He was going to be his son-in-law soon anyway. What bothered me was that they were both eyeing me through-out dinner, making me self-conscious.

"Bella." They both said when I stood up to clean my plate. I barely ate anything and they noticed it. I just shrugged at them and cleaned the dishes.

We watched baseball after dinner and around nine, Edward said goodbye to Charlie and went home for a while to get changed. I fell asleep on the couch again and woke up when Charlie nudged.

"Bella, I am getting worried about you." He said, helping me get up from the couch.

"Dad, you're sounding like Edward." I joked. He stared at me then mumbled something.

When I got to my room, Edward was there waiting for me. I winked at him then got my toiletries and went to the bathroom to take a shower. The scent of my body wash and shampoo relaxed me as well as the hot water. It felt good on my body.

As I was dressing up, I noticed something on my shoulder. When I examined it further, I noticed that it was a bruise. It was really blue and violet and it was the size of a golf ball. The funny thing is that I didn't remember hitting my shoulder lately. I tried to cover it so Edward wouldn't see. When I looked decent enough, I went back to my room.

"what took you so long?" he asked.

"Lady business" I shrugged

"Bella, you look really worn out." He said. I climbed on my bed and laid down beside him.

"I can think of a way for you to help me feel better." I said.

"Anything."

"Kiss me." I said. He raised an eyebrow at me and I smiled at him. With a sigh, he slowly leaned down until our lips met. When my heart was already over-worked with beating so fast and the both of us gasping for breaths, he pulled away.

"I already feel better." I told him, placing my head on his chest. He was breathing heavily too.

"Bella." He sighed then added, "good night, love." He kissed my hair.

"I love you." I said as I yawned.

"I love you too." He replied then he started humming my lullaby.

It was in the middle of the night when I felt a sharp pain in my abdomen causing me to shriek in pain. I immediately sat up, Edward sitting up with me, both of his hands on my face.

"Argh!" I shouted, clutching my lower abdomen. I felt something wet and sticky and I heard Edward gasp. His eyes were black, nostrils flared and despite the fact that it was dark, I know it was pain that was reflected on his face. His jaw was clenched and before I even pulled the covers, I knew what was wrong.

"Bella!" he said, his voice strained with excitement, worry and pain at what we saw on my covers.

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**hope you liked it. your reviews will be very much appreciated.**

**stay tuned to find out what's wrong with bella.**

**can anyone guess what it is?**

**tell me what you think. those who can get it right can make a special appearance on my story!**

**yay! aren't i great or what? LOL**

**(/^,)  
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	3. Chapter 3

**hello. just want to remind you that twilight isnt mine. it belongs to SM**

**sorry if there are many typos. i'm sleepy.**

**hope you enjoy! R&R  


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Bella POV

"Crap. Edward-argh!" I said as I clutched my abdomen again. As if on cue, blood ran down on my thighs again. My bed sheet was already covered with blood. I tried to stop the bleeding so I placed my hand on the apex of my thighs, where the blood was coming out.

"Bella! Bella, I should take you to the hospital. We're going now, don't worry." He said, panicking. He slowly took me in his arms but the slight movement caused more blood to come out. He froze, looking the blood dripping on my thighs, down his arms and to his shirt. I heard him grind his teeth and saw his eyes turn blacker.

He was fighting his thirst and I knew he was burning inside since there was so much blood before him, my blood no less, which calls to him stronger than any other blood. Just the scent of my blood is enough of a temptation to him, how much more if it's running down his own arms. It's right in front of him!

"Edward, Edward put me down. You have to go." I said as I struggled to get him to put me down.

"Are you insane? I will not leave you. I AM TAKING YOU TO THE HOSPITAL!" he growled.

"No, go to the hospital. Charlie's here." I said looking at the direction where his room is. "Charlie! Dad! Please come here! Dad! DAAAAAD!" I screamed.

"Bella-"

"You have to go, Edward. Charlie can't find you here and if you take me to the hospital now, he'd be suspicious tomorrow. And I sure as hell can't tell him that I left in the middle of the night alone."

"I'm not about to leave you like this, Bella."

"No. you have to go. Get Carlisle and meet me at the hospital. Please. Don't make this harder for the both of us." I pleaded as I placed both of my hands on his face, making him concentrate on me instead of my blood. He looked deep into my eyes then he crushed his lips to mine desperately.

"Bella… please be safe. I will be at the hospital right away." He said when he pulled away then he jumped out through my window when we heard Charlie open the door.

"Bella, what's wrong-" he asked then ran to me when he saw my bed, my pajamas and my hands. "What the hell happened to you?"

"I don't know. I was sleeping and then there was pain then- argh!" I said clutching my abdomen again. Charlie carried me and ran downstairs and out of the house towards his cruiser. He placed me at the backseat of his cruiser then went back to lock the house.

"Don't worry. We'll get there in time." he said as he started the engine and sped up towards the hospital.

The last thing I heard was the sound of the siren before everything went black.

Edward POV

I could not believe how weak I was. How stupid and utterly useless I was. Bella was there bleeding. Bella, the love of my life and my reason to live was in my arms bleeding and all I could think of was how sweet the scent of her blood was. How monstrous could I get!

I growled loudly in frustration. If something happens to Bella-

No! I will not think that way. Bella will be fine. She's strong. She once again proved her strength and selflessness when she asked me to go instead of staying with her like most people would ask. She was scared and broken but she still thought of what the others would feel especially me and her father.

I ran as fast as I could and within a few minutes, I saw our house. I felt a bit relieved when I crossed Carlisle's scent. I shouted even before I could get in.

"Carlisle! Bella needs you!"

My family's thoughts were all shocked and surprised when they saw me burst through the door. They all froze in place, not wanting to get in my way especially when I was acting like I am now.

_What happened? Oh dear, my son… _Esme thought sadly.

_Did he kill the girl? That is certainly her blood on his shirt. I knew this would happen. _Rose thought. I tried to stop myself from attacking her. I didn't have time for that.

_Whoa, Edward. This is bad. Really bad. I hope Bella's fine. _Emmett thought. He was confused about the details but he knew it had something to do with Bella. He moved next to Rose knowing that her thoughts would not be as nice as his.

_Did he lose his self-control? That's unlikely. But his emotions. No. I have to go. _Jasper thought, feeling the intensity of my emotions. Our eyes met for a fraction of a second then he went out of the house and added _I'm sorry. I just can't handle it. I hope she's safe._

_Bella? Where's Bella? Aahhh… this isn't good. I have to go with you Edward. _Alice looked at the future and I saw Bella lying on the hospital bed, there were so many tubes and machines around her and she was unconscious. She was scared for Bella. She loved her as well and I was relieved that at least someone understood. She scanned her visions again, looking for Bella.

"Edward, son? What's the matter?" he asked. _What is wrong with Bella? Why are you covered in blood?_

"I'll tell you on the way. We must hurry to the hospital!" I said and grabbed his arm tightly.

"Alright. My bag, please." He said and Esme was beside him in an instant, handing him his bag. She also handed me a jacket.

"I'll send a change of clothes for you later." She said then added mentally _Cover your clothes. People might suspect. I am so sorry, Edward._

I nodded at her. She sqeezed my hand then kissed Carlisle on his cheek quickly before we went to his Mercedes. In matter of seconds, we were already speeding to the hospital.

_What should I expect?_ He asked mentally.

"She was sleeping, then she woke up in pain then there was blood coming out her-" I growled. Carlisle placed his hand on my shoulder to calm me down. I was gripping the stirring wheel so hard that I was almost breaking it.

"You have a medical degree, Edward. Take deep breaths then tell me what happened clearly." He said with a soothing voice. I told him what happened and what other symptoms that I saw before this evening. He started forming different theories in his mind and different ways on how to cure her.

By the time we arrived at the hospital, Charlie was already there with Bella on the stretcher. She was sent to the emergency room. Carlisle ran inside as fast as a normal human pace can.

_Don't forget your jacket. Calm down and think about Charlie. I will take care of Bella, I swear. _He thought as he went inside. I saw him with Bella through his thoughts and I tried to calm down. I put on my jacket and went to the waiting room where Charlie was.

His thoughts were blank. Just pure shock at what he saw and fear. He was afraid to lose his only daughter. I cleared my throat as I approached him. He looked up and nodded at me.

"Why are you here?" he asked, trying to distract himself from his depressing thoughts.

"Carlisle asked me to come with him to get something. We saw you and…" I stopped talking and took a deep breath.

"It's a good thing you're dad is here. I don't know what to do. I feel so lost." He sniffed. He was starting to tear up.

"I know. Trust me, I know." I choked out. We sat there in silence, neither one of us knowing what was to happen and what to say to comfort each other. We both know there were no words that can comfort us.

I tried to read Carlisle's mind as he checked on Bella. He also asked for blood transfusions since she has been discharging too much blood. Once again, I admired Carlisle for his self restraint. There was so much blood in that room that I even shied away from seeing through his eyes. It was a literal bloodbath and to think it was Bella's blood was too much for me to handle. I stood up and went outside to clear my head. Charlie was too tired to even notice me.

I went towards the woods. I was so frustrated and angry with myself. Why did I have to be so weak? I thought I can handle seeing her bleed but I was wrong. She-her blood- still excites me… too much. Why did this bloodlust have to come now? I probably knocked down a few trees before I was calm enough to go back. This was not the right time for me to be killing innocent trees. I have to go back in there. Carlisle might need me. Bella needs me. I need Bella.

She was still unconscious when I went inside and sat beside Charlie. He only glanced at me then closed his eyes, praying for the safety of his little girl. I scanned Carlisle's thoughts to see how Bella was doing. He asked for a few tests to be performed on Bella and checked on her once again.

It was around four in the morning when Carlisle finally went out of the room with Bella, on the stretcher. She was still sleeping, her heart rate returned to normal but her breathing was becoming labored. I looked at her longingly then I turned back to Carlisle. His thoughts were guarded and I immediately became suspicious.

"Doc, what's wrong with Bella?" Charlie asked his voice thick with worry. I kept my eyes on Carlisle.

"She needs to stay here, I'm afraid. She's being sent to her room as we speak. I've run many tests on her and based from the results..." he paused then glanced at me before continuing, "Bella has… "

And with those words, my world crashed.

Bella POV

I was dreaming. I know I was. Everything was so glittery and sparkly. Ha. I even used those words. I really am dreaming. But unlike most of my dreams, this felt oddly familiar. I was in our meadow again and I saw Gran in the middle of the meadow, sitting on my rocking chair.

I remembered my previous dream, the one when I thought I saw Gran with Edward but it was actually me seeing my reflection.

I tried to walk towards Gran, but this time she didn't move. She was looking at something, her eyes full of love. When I got a little closer, I saw that she had a white blanket cradled in her arms. It was a baby, I was sure of it. I tried to call out to her but she couldn't hear me. I guess this was one of those silent dreams. Gran then looked at me, her expression turned from loving to terrified. I looked behind me, trying to find something that might have scared her but I saw nothing. When I looked back at where Gran was, she was no longer there. But the baby wrapped in the white blanket still was. I walked towards the baby and cradled her in my arms. Her face was covered with the blanket so I tried to move the sheet out of the way for me to see the child's face.

I was about to see the face of the baby when I heard something- more like someone- howl in the distance. The howl was so filled with pain and anguish that my knees buckled at the intensity. The pain was so real I swear I could feel it too. I looked at the baby in my arms, worried that she might be feeling the same pain and preparing to comfort her if she did but she was no longer there. She disappeared just like Gran; the only thing left was the white blanket.

Then the painful howl was replaced by a different sound. A beeping sound. An _annoying_ beeping sound.

The sound eventually woke me up and when I did, all I saw was white. White and it was bright.

Could I have died already? I died before my wedding? Well that just… _Crap._

_

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_** well? hope you enjoyed it. and no, bella isnt dead yet. **

**so, what's wrong with bella? if you guess right you can have a special appearance in my story...**

**just want to tell you all that this will be my last update for this month.**

**school is starting soon so i guess i'm gonna be busy...**

**but if i get many reviews, i just might update sooner... (wink wink)**

**thanks! (/^,)  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**Helloooo. Thanks to all those who reviewed, added this story to their favorites and alerts!  
**

**This chapter may not seem important to you but it really is. And I've been dying to write something in Jacob's POV (because i am in love with jacob black). So please give it a shot. **

**Thanks!**

**Enjoy reading! (/^,)**

**

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Bella POV

I took deep breaths. I don't think I'm dead yet. I can't be dead yet. Alice will kill me for dying before my wedding. Huh. I didn't make sense. I groaned. Someone stirred beside me. When I looked at my side, all I saw was curly brown hair.

"Charlie?" I asked. He slowly lifted his head and focused his eyes on me. Then he blinked and looked at me deeply.

"Bells? Are you okay?" he said. Finally waking up from his sleep I assumed. So I wasn't dead yet. That's good to know.

"I'm fine. Where am I?" I asked, looking around once again. He held my hand and sighed. I looked at his face; he was so tired and sad.

"You're in the hospital." He whispered.

"Why?" I asked then it all came rushing back to me. The blood, the pain, Edward. "What's wrong with me."

"Oh sweetheart." He sobbed and took my hand in both of his. His cries rocked his body and I was shocked. My dad wasn't the emotional type. I tried to comfort him but my other hand had an IV on it. As I was trying to comfort my dad, I saw a movement by the door. When I looked at it, I saw Edward.

I was about to smile at him when I saw his face. My stomach knotted and I felt like I was punched when I saw how horrible and pained his expression was. When he saw me looking at him, he looked worse- like he was burning. The agony on his features was heart breaking. I wanted to run to him and embrace him and tell him that his problems would go away. That everything will be alright.

Then I had a realization. Only a few things can make Edward look so miserable. I sighed. Something's wrong with me and for Edward to look like that, I'm assuming it's pretty serious. This is bad. Whatever happening to me is really, really bad.

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Jacob POV 

…_**a few days later after Bella was hospitalized…**_

She chose him. She still chose him. No matter what I do, how hard I try, she still chooses him. What did she tell me once? _It's him, it's still him and it will always be him, Jake. _Ahhh… fresh pain once again. Who knew that a few words can hurt a person over and over and over again? No matter how many times I've heard this in my head, I still get hurt so much.

Why can't she see that I'm better for her? I can give her so many things that he can only dream of. She doesn't have to change for me. She doesn't have to risk her life- lose her life to be with me. Why the hell not me? Why?

Because she loves him. She loves him more than she'll ever love me.

She chose him because she loves him. And she's going to _marry_ him. Then die for him. That's the fate that awaits her. Death. She chose death over life.

I stretched my legs farther, trying to run faster as if I'm someone's after me. But the only thing I'm running away from is the pain. But no matter how hard I try I still can't get away from it, I can't get rid of the claws that are slowly and painfully raking my heart- tearing it up and making sure it's beyond repair

I chose to be a wolf so that I can deal with the misery better but I was wrong. No matter what I decide, the pain would never leave me because the pain was not caused by my decision.

_Bella._ Someone from the pack thought. I flinched at the sound of her name and it immediately conjured her image from my mind. Her innocent heart-shaped face framed by her brown hair. Her soft lips and her rosy cheeks. And of course her deep brown eyes that shows the beauty of her soul. She was a picture of life. Then another image flashed into my mind. Bella, with her skin reflecting the sun, hard as marble and cold as ice. Her cheeks no longer flushing pink replaced by paleness. And her beautiful chocolate eyes, was changed into bright red- burning and thirsty.

I shuddered at the image. I gotta stop thinking about her. But it was so damn difficult. Not only has she stolen my heart but she also took control of my mind. Damn. Wasn't it hard enough that I have to share my brain with the pack, whom I was consciously ignoring, but does she have to take my sanity as well?

I hate her. Right. That's another thing I can't take. No matter how much she makes me feel like crap, I still can't stop loving her. Maybe it was my fault why I'm in pain. A normal person wouldn't love the one that's torturing them right?

Great. Now I'm blaming myself for the pain. This is just spectacular.

And the fact that she's been checking on me through Seth only makes it harder for me to forget. Does she get some sorta high from my pain? Doesn't she know that the more she shows concern, the more I'll hope for her to choose me? And the more I hope, the more painful it'll be for me?

I lost track of time once again and I have no freaking idea where I am now. Huh. I'm probably in Canada now. I stopped running and paid attention to me surroundings, but I was careful enough not to give my location away to the other wolves. This forest seemed different. I could smell humans not far from here. A cabin I think, somewhere north. Someone's cooking, it smells like stew. Mmmm… smells good.

My stomach growled. I better hunt before I end up knocking on their door, begging for stew. That will give them a heart attack. Huh.

I took down two deer and decided to wash my paws and muzzle on the river when I caught a scent. A sickeningly sweet scent that burns my nose. There was no doubt in my mind… it is a vampire. Great! Now I can find someone I can fight and obliterate. A vampire no less. I hate their kind. So much.

I followed the scent through the forest. As I was following it, I caught another scent. A human scent. Fuck. Did the leech just found its dinner? I ran faster, hoping I can save at least one person from dying. As I got closer, I heard a shriek followed by someone laughing.

When I saw them, I hid behind the tall bushes, observing the situation and making sure I wasn't outnumbered. That's when I saw the girl. She was small, frail-looking and clearly terrified.

"Try to run. I'll give you a few seconds before I kill you. It's awfully boring just to end your pitiful life just yet. C'mon, entertain me!" he snarled at the girl. So he's the kind who likes to play with their food.

The girl clutched her heart and her breather grew deeper. Tears ran down from her closed eyes and she sighed, giving up.

Oh no you don't! I snarled and launched myself at the vampire who was about to bit the girl. I caught him by surprise and I immediately tore his hands off. The sickening metallic screech echoed through the forest and the girl covered her ears from the growl that escaped the vampire's teeth.

He tried to run but I caught up with him and tore him to pieces. I was debating on whether to return to human form to burn the pieces or just scatter him everywhere when I felt a presence behind me. I turned around and saw the girl, hiding behind the tree, looking at me. Our eyes met briefly and I saw for the first time how she looked.

She was not only frail-looking. She was also small. Her long black hair framed her face and reached past her shoulders. She was still breathing heavily and her hand was on her heart, probably trying to steady its beat. What caught my attention though were her eyes. They were dark and flat and it held no fear. I stared at her, trying to decipher the meaning in her eyes. As I stared deeper, I saw myself reflected in her eyes- my wolf self.

Oh fuck. Here I was, staring eye-to-eye with a girl while I'm in my wolf- form. How the hell am I supposed explain this? Just walk away Jacob. Walk away. She cant talk to you anyway.

I turned around and started to walked away when I heard her clear her throat.

"Wait. Please." She said. Her voice was… weird. I looked at her. She smiled then said, "Thank you. For saving my life. And for not eating me. although I'm pretty sure I'm not that appetizing. Still, I owe you my… life. Thanks so much."

Her voice faltered a bit. She was scared. She was just not showing it. And did she think I was going to kill her? Well, she was right for one thing, she wasn't appetizing at all. She was skin and bones. The light breeze made her shiver and when the wind blew, her hair covered her face and she closed her eyes. I saw this as my chance to escape so I ran away.

I was gone before she even had a chance to blink again.

I woke up later than usual. The sun was already up and my stomach was shouting at me demanding breakfast- or lunch. I yawned and stretched and looked for a huge game. I was going to eat raw again when I smelled something wonderful. I followed the scent that led me to the place where I met the girl.

As I approached, I saw a pot on the ground beside the tree where the girl stood last night. I took the cover with my mouth and smiled in delight when I saw that the marvelous scent I caught a while ago came from inside the pot. It was stew. And there was bread and a bottle of tea. I was debating on whether to eat it or not when my stomach demanded that I eat it.

I phased back to my human form so I could enjoy my meal better. The stew was even more delicious than it smelled. Although it wasn't enough to satisfy my hunger, I didn't complain. Its been a while since I last ate a decent meal that was actually cooked and warm. I immediately phased back to wolf form before anyone sees a naked man.

As soon as I was able to satiate my hunger, with the help of two deer again, I sat down and tried to sleep. I preferred to sleep as a wolf because I don't dream and it enables me to run away from Bella. I dreamed about her all the time when I was human. Her laughter, her tears, her clumsiness and her stupidity.

I usually dream of the times we spent together before we were thrown once again in a world of complications. When I was just Jacob and she was Bella. We were so happy back then- or so I thought. Now that I think about it, I was the only one happy at that time. My happiest days were her dark days. Who was I kidding? She never loved my company. Not as much as she loves him.

I was so deep in thought that I didn't realize someone was approaching me. when I did notice who it was, I started to stand and run away.

"Hey! Doggie. Come back." She called out. Did she just call me _doggie?_ I stopped and looked at her. What is her problem?

"Look, I came here to warn you. You're in our territory- No wait! Man." She said because I started to run away when she said I was trespassing.

"What I meant was that you better be careful and please don't eat any of my family." She clarified. She was breathing heavily again. Did she run to get here? Not that I care. She leaned on a nearby tree and breathed deeply. Her heart rate was jagged and she closed her eyes. After a few minutes, she sighed.

"Can you keep me company? I'm tired of staying in the cabin and I'm too tired to walk. Please? I don't want to run into that guy again." She shuddered. She was breathless as she spoke and there was another thing that I noticed about her. She could really use some sleep. The circles under her eyes were deep and purplish.

_Jake, please. Listen. You have to come back. _Someone begged in my mind. It was… Seth. Again. No way am I coming back just because she asked him to ask me. They don't need me anyway.

_No. Something's happened to Bella! Please. Even Edward is begging for you. Your dad and Charlie too. Its really bad Jake. she may not last long. _Not last long? Why? Did something happened to Bella? What? She wasn't a vampire yet is she? But will I go back?

_I'll think about it kid. Give me space. _I thought back to Seth. He didn't argue with me probably because he already knew what my decision would be. He knows that I'll go back. Back to Bella. Back to the girl who I love. To the girl who I'll lose once again. To the girl who'll break me apart once she leaves again. But it doesn't matter. I will go back anyway.

I turned around and was about to walk away when I heard a breath hitch and when I looked back at the girl I saw before, she was already lying on the floor. What the hell? I went to her side and saw her clutching her heart again with a pained expression. She wasn't conscious though and I was thankful for that. I phased to human form and carried her to the cabin.

She was still unconscious when I got to the cabin. Someone was inside. Great. I'll just drop her on the door then knock. Just like what they do to babies in movies. As I approached the house, I felt a strange tingling feeling. It was as if there was something in that cabin that beckons me. I was about to open the door when I heard the girl I'm carrying whimper.

That woke me up. I was naked, holding a young girl in my arms and was about to enter someone else's home without permission. They'll thing I'm a wacko. I laid the girl by the door then knocked hard enough. When I heard footsteps get the door, I immediately ran back to the woods and phased back to wolf form.

I pushed myself to run back towards where I came from. I retraced my steps and went back to the place where I was running away from.

_Jake, hey man. Coming home huh. _Seth greeted me when he saw that I was coming back.

_Yeah. What's up with… Bella? _I asked and mentally cringed when I said her name.

_She's sick, Jake. Really sick. Edward's going nuts. _Seth answered gloomily. He was concerned with Bella too. He sees her as a friend. They really have bonded while I was away. No wonder he was willing to do errands for her.

_Not really. She was nice. _Seth commented. _Edward too. He's okay for a vampire._

_No vampire is okay. _I snapped at him. He was quiet for a while he didn't say anything about Bella anymore since we were suddenly very crowded. Sam, Paul and Jared appeared and Seth pretended not to talk to me.

_So, what's with Bella? _I asked the others. They immediately stopped goofing and stayed quiet. This isn't good. Paul and Jared shutting up means trouble.

_I think it would be better if you see for yourself, Jacob._ Sam said. There was a note of sadness in his voice. My gut twisted and I felt sick. But instead of stopping, I ran faster and faster.

_Hurry._

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_**so far this is the longest chapter.i know it wasnt that good. but i promise to improve my next chapters.  
**

**hope you liked it. i promise that next chapter i will reveal bella's illness..**

**and we'll be seeing more of "the girl" and "the other person in the cabin" in the future chapters.**

**hope you liked it...**

**oh, please leave a review... it will be highly appreciated.**

**peace!(/^,)  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey there! I am so very sorry for the late update. I have no other excuse for not updating besides school. So yeah, sorry! **

**So here is my latest update! Please enjoy and R&R!**

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters… **

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Bella POV

I was dreaming. I'm sure. I was in our meadow again and I saw Gran in the middle of the meadow, sitting on my rocking chair.

This dream again… I've dreamt about this before.

I tried to walk towards Gran, and again, she was looking at something, her eyes full of love. The baby I guess. I tried calling out to her but she still couldn't hear me. When Gran did look at me, she had the same terrified expression I saw before but whenever I checked the surroundings to find out what scares her, I find nothing but wilting flowers at my feet. When I turn back to her, she's gone but the baby wrapped in the white blanket remained. I walked towards the baby and cradled her in my arms. Her face was covered with the blanket and overcome with curiosity and the nagging mystery, I tried to see the face of the baby but again, I was interrupted by a piercing howl filled with grief and agony.

I looked at the baby in my arms, and just like before, she was no longer there. She disappeared just like Gran; the only thing left was the white blanket. I was still holding a blanket when I heard someone.

"_Bella._"

I woke up on my hospital bed. It's been a week since I was hospitalized and a week that I've been on this bed. I wasn't allowed to stand up or walk around; I wasn't even allowed to go to the bathroom alone. Quite frankly, I was never alone anymore.

"Good morning, dear. Are you hungry?" Esme asked. She was sitting on the plastic chair near the table, peeling an apple.

"When did Alice leave?" I asked, trying to stand up. Alice was the one looking after me last night.

"She left at dawn. She had to hunt with Jasper. Hear, let me help." She wrapped her arm around my waist and carried me to the bathroom.

"Bella?" I heard my dad ask. He's been visiting me every morning before going to the police station.

"In here. Wait a moment." I called back to him. I washed my face and brushed my teeth with Esme standing behind me all through out. I was embarrassed before whenever Alice and Esme would help me with my human moments but it's not like I could stop them so I just sucked it up and let them help me.

Esme helped me get out and lay down on my bed. Charlie fluffed the pillows and kissed my forehead as I lied down.

"Thanks for helping, Esme. Renee wants to thank you as well. She's pissed that she can't be here at this time." Charlie said, smiling at Esme.

"Oh, it's no trouble at all. I have a lot of free time anyway" Esme winked at me. "And I have nothing else to occupy my time with."

"How are you dad? Are you eating well? Who's cooking?" I asked. I shudder to think at what Charlie has been eating while I was here.

"I'm fine. I eat at Billy's. How are you?" he asked. His voice became soft, but still somehow thick with emotion. The same emotion reflected in his eyes. In everyone's eyes. Worry. Anxiety. Fear.

"Same as yesterday. I'm doing great." I said. They both looked like they didn't believe me so I added, "I am still tired though."

"Would you like to eat then? Here." Esme said placing a plate of apples and a bowl of soup on a trey beside my bed. "Why don't you eat as well, Charlie? There's enough for the both of you."

"How about you? Come join us." Charlie said. Esme and I looked at each other and I mouthed that she doesn't have to. She smiled at me in relief.

"No thanks. If you don't mind, I'll go find Carlisle so we can eat together."

"Oh. Alright. Thanks again." Dad said, standing up to open the door for Esme. She grabbed her bag, kissed me on my cheek then smiled at Charlie as she passed through the door.

Charlie and I ate in comfortable silence like always. Although I still didn't have my appetite, I was happy enough eating with my dad that I didn't mind forcing the food into my stomach. After a few minutes, Charlie cleaned up and said good bye with a promise that he'll be back later that night.

Right after Charlie left, the nurse came in with my medicines. After a few poking and questions they left. I was shifting through channels when someone knocked on the door.

"Come in." I said. The door opened and I saw the most glorious face that I have ever laid my eyes upon. I felt myself slowly smile as he entered the room, already lighting up the dull place. For someone so fast that he could run across states in perhaps an hour, he still wasn't fast enough to cross the room and get to me. He smiled slightly at me and I reached out my hand which he took.

"What took you so long?" I whispered after he kissed me on my forehead.

"I had a few things to check up on." He murmured, his face so close to mine that I felt his cool breath caress my face. I angled my head so I can kiss his lips. He understood my intention so he kissed my lips so passionately that I almost felt as if I'm floating. My heart raced so fast then I started feeling cold and numb. Slowly, blackness tried to engulf me.

"Bella!" Edward said, shaking my shoulders.

"Hmmm?" I asked, finally becoming awake.

"Are you alright? You almost passed out! Are you in pain?" he asked frantically, close to pressing the nurse button and perhaps even calling Carlisle.

"I'm fine. You're just so good at kissing that my mortal body can't handle it" I teased. He sighed, searching my face for any sign of pain, so I smiled at him.

"Are you saying that I can't kiss you anymore? Since it's dangerous to your health." He smirked, a small amount of amusement reaching his eyes. Ever since we found out what's wrong with me, Edward hasn't been happy. He was always worried. Always hovering. I can so clearly see the fear in his eyes and I felt so guilty for being the source of his anxiety.

"No! What I meant was that… er… NO!" I said. He smiled at me, but it didn't reach his eyes this time, and then sat down on the bed by my hip.

"Don't worry. I don't think I can restrain myself that hard anyway. So how are you feeling?" he asked, tucking the few strands of hair on my face behind my ear.

"Wonderful. Now that you're here." I replied.

"I'm serious, Bella."

"So am I."

"Shall I rephrase? Medically speaking, how are you feeling?"

I sighed. "Same as yesterday and the day the day before that. I feel fine. I want to go home."

"I'm sorry, dear but you're still not good to go. Your tests haven't come back yet." Someone from the door said. I looked there and saw Carlisle standing by the door, holding a chart. I sighed again then smiled at him. He entered the room and checked my IV and monitor.

"Hmm… your heart rate increased. Are you feeling anxious or in pain, Bella?" Carlisle asked.

"Blame it on Edward." I mumbled, blushing. Carlisle looked at Edward then me and smirked.

"Oh, by the way Bella. You seem to have a visitor." He looked at the doorway and I followed his gaze. Edward stood up from the bed and held my hand.

Then I saw _him_ slowly walk inside the room. He grew taller again and his hair was longer. His well toned muscles hid beneath his russet skin. Of course, he was only wearing a simple white shirt and sweat pants. He wasn't wearing a jacket since the temperature wouldn't really bother him. I slowly moved my gaze up to his face and I felt myself cry as I saw his familiar knowing black eyes.

Jacob POV

When I reached La Push, the first thing that I did was run into my room and grab clothes. It wasn't until I noticed dad snoring that I realized it was still too early to admit visitors at the hospital. So I went in the bathroom to take a shower. It's been a while since I had a chance to grab a shampoo and soap and actually clean myself.

After drying myself, I decided to lie down for a while. For some odd reason, my bed didn't feel quite right. Maybe it's because the last time I was here was when _she_ said good bye. This bed represented my weakest state.

It was the time when I was at my most vulnerable and broken in every way when she decided to crush me more.

No, Bella wouldn't hurt me intentionally. Besides, I was the one who forced her.

Great, blaming myself again. How much screwed up can I get. Ok. I'd think of something else. I let my mind wander off until it went back to the small girl. I wondered how she was. The last time I saw her, she was unconscious. I wonder who was the one she was with and if that person was able to help the girl. I do hope they don't come across another vampire. Especially since they live in the middle of nowhere. Why were they living there anyway? Wait, how did they get help if they were all alone in the middle of a place where I don't think there is even reception?

I kept thinking about those people that I didn't notice how much time passed by. The sun peeked through my curtains and woke me from the reverie. I stood up, stretched and slowly opened the door. I saw my dad cooking breakfast and my stomach responded to the smell. He looked behind him and his eyes grew wide.

"Jacob? What? When? Don't do that, boy!" he stammered, trying to get over his shock. "You gave my heart a work out."

"Sorry dad. How are you?" I asked, feeling guilty for leaving him so long all by himself. I looked closely at him, trying to see if anything changed. He looked tired and a bit older but I don't think he was in a bad shape.

"Same as always. You?" he said as he continued cooking.

"Been worse." I muttered. "Sorry I left you alone, dad."

"No worries. Charlie's been keeping me company anyway." The mention of Charlie's name reminded me of why I came back.

"Charlie? Why? I thought…" I gulped then continued, "I thought Bella wasn't doing well."

I heard dad's breathing hitch. Then he slowly turned to me. "I guess you already heard. Why don't we eat breakfast then you can go to the Forks Hospital so you can talk to her. I hear she's doing… uh. Well, at least she isn't getting worse."

"Sure, sure." I replied.

Right after breakfast, I helped clean the dishes then I took my motorcycle to Forks. I was on my way to the information desk when I caught a familiar vampire scent. I looked around and saw Doc Fang walking with three nurses and a stack of charts towards me. There was a slight smile on his lips and he murmured, in a tone that was inaudible to humans, for me to follow him.

We entered the elevators and when we reached the fourth floor, all of us went out. The nurses went into a different direction so I followed Doc vamps. I was a few steps from the room when I heard the _other vampire_'s voice talking with _her._

I stopped a few steps away trying to compose myself and failing entirely. I mean, what was I supposed to say? Was I supposed to act as if nothing happened? As if she didn't break my heart? How was I even supposed to greet her and her fanged friends?

I was debating on how I should act when I heard doc tell her she has a visitor. I inhaled and slowly, walked towards the door and opened it.

The first thing I saw was the Bella's pale face, paler than usual. She somehow lost weight and she looked so brittle. Breakable. But despite her body's state, her eyes were so lively and filled with tears. I sighed. Why was it so impossible to hate this girl? One look was all it took to make me feel that all the pain was worth it.

"Hey." I said walking closer to her bed. Edward was holding her hand as I approached her. He gave me a small nod which I ignored. I was focusing on Bella.

"Welcome back." She said smiling at me.

"We'll let you to be alone. I'll be nearby so just call me if anything hurts." Edward said, kissing Bella's hand. He and doc went out of the room, leaving Bella and I alone. I sighed.

"So, what's up with you?" I asked eyeing the monitor and the IV attached to her. "From the looks of it, it's not that good so don't try to downplay anything."

"Sure. Are you ready for this?" she said, trying to sound like a game show host revealing the prize. I nodded and held her hand. She took a deep breath then whispered, "I have cancer."

Her words didn't sink in. It was like all she said was total gibberish. And when I did understand, I was frozen. I didn't know what to do or how to react.

"_What?_" I managed to choke out. I was starting to shake. Not a good thing.

"Calm down, Jake. sshhh… I'm fine." She said, trying to soothe me. This feels wrong. I was supposed to be the one trying to soothe her.

"How bad is it?" I squeaked. Not such a normal thing considering my size but I felt as if all the oxygen inside my body was running out. I can barely breathe.

"Stage four. Funny, isn't it? I have cervical cancer. Do you know there's a vaccine for that? But of course, being me, I only discovered I had it when it was already in its advance stages." She shrugged as if it was nothing.

"Yeah. Hilarious. So what now?" only Bella would enjoy her own demise.

"Well, Carlisle's looking for a cure. I mean, it's too late for vaccine and he's thinking if radiation is better than chemo. I might get to travel though. Hey, don't make that face. Do you wanna know the good thing?" she asked, trying to lighten the situation.

"What?" I asked, humoring her.

"I don't have to go to the wedding!" she stage whispered. I rolled my eyes at her.

"What did you do while you were away? Where did you go?" she asked eagerly.

I thought about telling her about the girl I met but somehow, that sounded so private so I just shrugged and said, "Nothing much. Just running around, here and there."

She smiled at me and we started talking about random stuff. After a few hours, although it seemed like just a few minutes, Edward entered the room followed by nurses.

"It's time for her meds." He whispered. I nodded then stood up.

"I better get going." I told Bella, kissing her cheek.

"You're coming back right? Tomorrow?" she asked, holding onto my hand.

"Sure, sure. You get better, alright?" I said heading towards the door. I didn't bother waiting for her answer.

I ran outside the hospital, got on my motorcycle and sped through the highway, letting all that happened play back into my head. All the bad news and most importantly, Bella.

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**so, was it worth the wait? do you hate me? **

**please review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**another chapter for you guys!**

**Most of these characters are from Stephenie Meyer… **

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Edward POV

For once in my impossibly long existence, I was thankful my body temperature was lower than that of a human. Bella has a fever again so I stayed beside her to keep her body cool. I looked at my Bella and saw my beloved breathe slowly. Once again I wondered what I ever did to deserve such a blessing.

And then I wondered if my sins were too grave that heaven decided to take her away from me. But an angel like Bella may be needed in heaven. Not damned forever with a selfish, soulless monster like me.

It's a good thing though that she is no longer bleeding despite the fact that her condition isn't getting any better. Yet for someone hovering closer to death, she still remains lovely.

_Death hath had no power upon thy beauty…_

Yes. My Bella is still beautiful. Nothing can ever change that. I chuckle as I remember Bella's absurdness when Carlisle told her about her treatment.

_I was feeding Bella with mushroom soup when Carlisle entered the room. He smiled at Bella then touched my shoulder._

"_So, what's up with me?" Bella asked casually. I sighed. How can she take the matter of her life so easily?_

"_There haven't been any changes in your condition. But we should start chemotherapy very soon. I will schedule a treatment for you tomorrow. If that is alright with you, anyway."Carlisle said, looking at me. He was getting worried since the cancer cells are slowly spreading through her body._

"_When do we have to start the therapy?" she asked, fear creeping into her voice. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder. She looked at me, smiled then leaned her head on my shoulder._

"_As soon as we can. I just need to inform Charlie bit since you're already of legal age, we can start whenever you want. But I do advice we start very soon."_

"_Oh. Uhm, can I think about it?"She asked._

"_What is there to think about? You have to start treatment soon." I said even before Carlisle can respond. _

"_I'm sorta worried about the side effects. I mean, I saw enough movies to know what happens when a person goes through chemo and all." She mumbled._

"_I am willing to talk to you regarding the side effects of chemotherapy. What is it that bothers you?" Carlisle asked. Bella bit her lip and blushed. Then she took a deep breath._

"_Will I lose my hair?" she whispered. Carlisle and I looked at each other then at Bella, who was hiding her face on my shoulder._

"_Well, it is a possibility." Carlisle said slowly. Bella sighed. "Is that all that concerns you?"_

"_Yes. Thanks Carlisle. Let me think about it first, please." She said, looking at Carlisle. Tears were slowly forming in her eyes. When Carlisle left, I pulled Bella on my lap and tilted her chin so that she was looking at me._

"_What's wrong, love?" I asked, "What bothers you so much? Is it the treatment?"_

"_The effects of the treatment actually." She mumbled._

"_Losing your hair? Why?" I asked, a little confused. Bella wasn't vain about her hair unlike Rose. Her hair was beautiful and soft and fragrant without any effort on her part. I never told her that I liked combing my fingers along her lush tresses._

"_Why? Can you imagine me being bald? I'd look awful. I'd be a freak. You'd be engaged to the ugliest girl in town. Argh!" she said, tears falling from her eyes. I just looked at her. The concept of Bella being ugly just didn't make sense to me. How can she think that losing her hair would make her less attractive than she is now?_

"_Bella-" I began but she cut me off._

"_I know you're gonna tell me that I'd still be pretty and all, but… but I'll lose my hair!" she said, and then she sighed._

"_I never told you this but my hair is the only thing that I believe is beautiful about me and I'm about to lose it. And I know how you like my hair. You always play with it and I know you don't think that I notice it but I know that you love to bury your face in my hair."_

"_I admit that I love your hair. But I love it only because it's yours. No matter how you look, with or without your hair, I will still love you. I always have and always will." I said then I kissed her tears away._

"_But-"_

"_No buts. I love you. And you'll always be beautiful." I said, kissing her lips with as much love as I can give her fragile body._

"Edward?" Bella asked, waking me from my reverie.

"Love? Are you awake?" I asked, trying to make sure if she was indeed awake or just dreaming, she doesn't talk much in her sleep lately. Carlisle believes it's because she doesn't feel very much comfortable even in her sleep.

"Yes. My leg hurts."

"which one?" I asked, standing up trying to massage her.

"Both." She whispered. I looked at her and saw her chewing her lower lip. I gently pulled it before it bleeds from the force of her bite.

I took the covers away to see her leg and despite the darkness, what I saw almost made me gasp.

"Edward? What's wrong?" she asked, her lovely voice quivering. She was also shaking a bit.

"Wait a minute, love. Does it hurt so much? I'll call Carlisle." I said in a rush. I quickly took my cell phone from my pocket and speed-dialed Carlisle. He answered on the first ring.

"It's Bella. She needs assistance. I think her cancer is starting to advance." I said in a rush. Bella was unable to understand what I was saying but being the perceptive girl that she is, understanding finally showed in her eyes.

"Its getting worse, isn't it?" she whispered. I wrapped my arms around her, trying to keep her together- trying to keep her beside me.

She wrapped her arms around me as well, her shoulders starting to shake. She was crying…

"Does it hurt? Don't worry, love. Carlisle will be here any second."

"It doesn't hurt that much." She said in an odd voice. She was about to say something when Carlisle entered the room and turned the lights on.

The sudden brightness startled Bella. She looked around the room and gasped at what she saw…

I was such an idiot! I forgot to cover her leg which was truly exposed to her now. I did not want her to see it this way. It might scare her. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

"I sure did get fat, huh." She mumbled, looking at her very swollen leg. It was bruised and it seemed very painful. Trust her to make jokes during times like these. I tried to repress my growl.

"Bella, I think chemotherapy isn't working as well as I hoped." Carlisle said in a deadpan voice. "But I do have another option."

"What?" Bella and I inquired at the same time.

"Radiation therapy. Only, this hospital does not have the proper equipments for such procedure. But I do know of a place where we can treat you." He replied. _It will be so much easier with the both of them there…_

"Who?" I asked the same time Bella asked, "Where?"

"In Seattle Grace Hospital. I have been there once on a conference. They have very skilled doctors and state-of-the-art equipment." _I'll explain later._ He added, morosely.

"Oh. I guess we can go there. I just have to tell Charlie tomorrow… and Jake." she mumbled then she looked at me, "You're coming too, right?"

"Of course I am." What a silly question to ask. Nothing can tear me apart from Bella. Especially now.

Bella smiled and told Carlisle that she was willing to go to Seattle. After Carlisle gave Bella her meds, she fell asleep again. She deep in her slumber when Carlisle left, leaving the two of us alone once again.

**Jacob POV**

Okay. So now I really feel stupid. I was pacing back and forth on the hospital parking lot at five- freaking- a.m. I was so worried about Bella that even dreamed about her.

Yeah, I know I always dream about her but this time it's different. I dreamt that I was walking down an aisle. Everyone was wearing white and there were flowers everywhere. I saw Edward standing at the altar. So I thought it was one of _those nightmares._ You know, the one where I would watch Bella and the leech pronounce their love, their marriage. But as I reached the altar, I saw a golden casket. I didn't need to look at it to know who died.

That thought shot me awake and had me racing to get to the hospital only to realize it was _five in the morning_!

I groaned again.

"You're here early." A chirpy voice said behind me. I didn't bother looking around to know which leech this one is.

"So are you." I snapped.

"You aren't a morning person, aren't you?"

"No. I just ain't a leech person"

"Funny, I thought you were gonna say you aren't much of a person." She finally snapped at me.

"I'm more of a person than you are." I growled.

"You woke up at the wrong side of the… er… where do dogs sleep anyway?" she said. Before I can make a come-back, she climbed through Bella's window and disappeared.

Lucky for her she was so small that it wouldn't seem weird for her to dangle outside a girl's room. I on the other hand… just that thought is creepy enough for me.

"Good morning, Jacob." Dr. Fang said, walking to his _expensive_ Mercedes parked next to my bike. I just ignored him.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, the clock finally signaled the start of polite-normal-people- visitation hours. I didn't waste time and went directly to Bella's room.

"Jake!" she sighed, looking so tired. Edward was beside her, as always. And the tiny one was feeding her with some kinda soup.

"Morning. How's the runaway bride?" I said, hoping to offend the leeches. Edward just ignored the comment but Alice hissed.

"You know I can't run, Jake." Bella glared at me.

"So? You'll be the walk-away bride. Or the crawl-away."

"Just shut up." Bella said, glancing at pixie-vampire. She looked so ready to disconnect my head from my neck.

"What's new?" I asked again, searching her features for something different, any sign that she might be getting better. Edward sighed.

"I'm gonna be traveling." Bella said with so much fake enthusiasm I almost laughed at her.

"Really? Where to?"

"To Seattle… Hospital. For my treatment." She whispered the last part. I looked at Edward

_She's getting worse, isn't she?_ I asked. He nodded infinitesimally so Bella wouldn't notice. Bella was still staring at me and mistook my silent conversation with Edward for something else.

"You can come too, if you want. I would really like for you to be there as well so you know, we can catch up on stuff."

"Uh, I'd check things with Sam." I muttered. Bella smiled sadly at me. After Alice fed her, I sat on her bed and we began to talk. Edward excused himself and said something about elk populations rising. Tiny went out with him.

I spent most of the day with Bella but my lack of sleep was slowly catching up on me. Bella was getting tired as well.

"Guess I have to go now, Bells." I said, stretching as a stood up.

"Yeah. Thanks for coming, Jake. Really." She said, starting to tear up. I cupped her face carefully and kissed her forehead.

"Anytime. Now rest. I'd better talk to Sam. I can't promise you I'd be staying at Seattle but I will visit you."

"Thanks. Love you, Jake." she mumbled, lowering her head on her pillow and closing her eyes.

"Sure, sure. Love you too."_ More than you can ever know._

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**once again, i am facing a... not exactly writer's block... more of a writer's-laziness-to-continue-a-story thing.**

**help? reviews would be great. just saying.  
**


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